How are we getting here??

There are many, many ways that people searching the web arrive here at Cellar Door. I'm not talking about the obvious ones like "cellar door linguist" or folks who type the entire "Darko" quote (yes, some people put in all 32 words!).

I'm talking about the bizarre, crazy searches people do that somehow land them on this very doorstep. Like last year's "Owensboro dirty girls" and "blended margarita".

Here's a look at the new searches in the form of a top ten list. In most cases, I didn't take note of the search engine...

10. "saint malachy"

Remarkable that a search for this fellow could land you here given my mention was brief and over a year ago. More remarkable that I was #919 in this search and that someone waded through 91 google pages and bothered to click on this site. That is some thorough research!

9. "Farley flavor crystals"

Whatever it is, it sounds yummy. Cellar Door was site #9 in this odd search -- and we were often #9 as you'll see below.

8. "see the videos with decapitations on Iraqi"

Whoever worded this search was either a moron, or 12 years old. The odd wording is the only explanation for the fact that Cellar Door was #8 in the list.

7. "rethread a vhs tape"

Whoever did this search was desperate for instructions on how do perform the task. With this site at #2 on the search engine's list, it was a shame that the only thing the searcher got was the story of a botched inflight movie, Hidalgo, and me asking an Aussie woman to say that a dingo ate her baby.

6. "Big red soda" (#25) and "Old Spice Red Zone pictures" (#6)

Guessing the marketing people for both products are quite pleased with the conservative endorsements here for their products! Thank you for your support!

5. "Halloween dryer sheets"

You think the granolas up at Google sit around and marvel at the strange things people search for? This site was #9 in the Halloween dryer sheet department. Maybe I can improve on that by October...

4. "us donation to tsunami"

How pathetic is it that someone could search for such a serious topic and find my lame Dick York/Dick Sargent analogy at #9 in their search??

3. My Name

My real name appears nowhere on this site, and yet a google search brings it right up. Strange but true. And a little scary.

2. "Appleby Certificate real or a hoax"

Cellar Door is #8 in this search because the searcher misspelled Applebee's. Heheh... what a moron! Uh, heeey waaaaait a minute...!

1. "www.cameo.comm" [sic]

And the number 1 search that landed someone here was by using something called Viewpoint. They searched for an actual URL, misspelled it and Cellar Door was THE #1 result.

And there you have it. All searches will eventually drop you here. Let's hope I have something funny to post by then. See you soon!