Hello and welcome!

This is that first post in a new blog. The first post traditionally tries to get all the awkwardness out of the way. There are several essentials for the first posting in a new blog and let's go over them now, shall we? Doesn't that sound like fun!

1. First, there is the obligatory "Why am I doing this..."

There are oh, so many reasons. The first of which is that I've had my feathers ruffled a lot in the year 2003. Stuff has really gotten my goat... bees in my bonnet... bats in my belfry... and whatever other animal/stress metaphors. I need a place to sound off about them and I'm tired of ranting to my cat, Oggy. She never knows what I'm talking about, thinks I'm mad at her, then poops in the corner for sweet revenge. That does neither of us any good.

Another reason to do a blog is that I consider myself a writer who wants to be more prolific, but lacks the external pressure to do more writing. What could infuse more pressure than having the entire planet wondering when my next update will be? (Okay, well, maybe not the entire planet, but the one or two bored friends who check in. And the couple of psycho strangers who will love me from afar. And, oh, they WILL love me).

2. What to expect.

My blog will NOT be a personal diary. If you want to see that, well... you are sick. And you're asking for boredom. I keep a written journal for personal stuff (since 1982) and only my family will read that after I'm dead. By then, I will be a wondrous being of pure light and immune to their laughter and ridicule.

You will also NOT see me using profanity here. I have nieces and nephews, some of whom haven't started middle school, and therefore won't be cursing on their own for a few years yet. Also, it would be terrible for my mother to be reading this and hear MY voice in HER head use the f word. She'd call me crying, which would upset me... rant to cat... poop in corner... general unhappiness.

What you WILL see in my blog will be just about anything else. I hope you will applaud at times. I hope you will be angry at times. And I hope you will laugh, always.

Also, I hope you will respond and let me know what you think.

3. It's my hope that the links on the side of the page will grow over time. I'm going to try to do a "Link of the Week" each week. These will always be something I've found to be exceptionally entertaining. I thank my friend Sean for her leading me to my first pick, Dispair.com.

4. Disclaimer

The final part of my opening blog is the expected disclaimer. Here goes.

I have no idea what I'm doing. No really, I'm totally making this up as I go. I just found this blog site on a lark and got started. Maybe I should have shopped around. Maybe other blog sites have something cheaper than "free". When I'm done typing, am I supposed to click the "Post" button or the "Publish" button?

Oh my God, which one?! The anxiety is killing me!

Other blogs have cool pictures and neat designs and colors and I have no clue how to do that. And I thought I was internet savvy.

Well, that's that. Thank you for reading my first post. Come back soon for the second one. There's sure to be less awkwardness next time.

Maybe.

CF