Caucus-a-Rockus

At Monday press time, it looks good for my man John Kerry getting the Iowa caucus. Guess my endorsement had more power than I thought. Yeah, yeah, John did some legwork too blah blah...

I awakened this morning to find an email from my friend John in Owensboro. I've edited our email exchange about the candidates together. Turns out we're pretty good political analysts...

John: Lots o' luck to Kerry today in the caucuses. I've been wondering all along how Howard Dean had been the frontrunner. I actually think anyone would be better than Dean.

Me: I agree... I just can't picture him sitting behind the desk.

John: You can always see Dean’s lower teeth when he speaks and smiles, and I hate that. Here's the order I would put the candidates: John Edwards, John Kerry, Gen. Wesley Clark, Howard Dean, Dick Gephardt. Did I leave anyone out?

Me: You left out Lieberman. So smart... so forgettable.

John: Lieberman's about as exciting as the dirty socks I threw down the basement steps to the laundry this morning.

Me: He always looks like he didn't have a balanced breakfast that morning.

John: He makes Gerald Ford look like a wild man.

Me: I think he's low on blood sugar, or something.

John: Gephardt reminds me of someone I don't like, so screw him.

Me: I think Clark is a fraud.

See? That's the kind of keen, insightful analysis that's lacking in the media these days. Who needs Evans and Novak? Look for John and me to guest next week on CNN's Crossfire!!