The Beat Goes On...

At 8am Friday morning I awoke to the sound of loud drums. Okay, technically I was already awake, but the point is: 8am – loud drums. I will hear them tomorrow too, and every weekday at exactly 8am.

Apparently it is a tradition at the middle school across the street. The 8am bell rings, the school drum line plays a long ditty, then the principal gets on the speaker. It’s like clockwork.

Interesting that even when the kids are in summer school, I continue to hear the drums as powerful as ever. This would seem to validate the stereotype that drummers are a bunch of slacker skateboard hooligans who must attend summer classes to make up for their bad grades.

I don’t like morning drums. I would really like them to go away.

Sometimes I envision myself calling the school and complaining.

“How about playing the drums at 3pm?”

“Sir, the school gets out at 2:30.”

“Wow,” I’ll say, “you guys are really inflexible on this.”

Maybe I could canvass the neighborhood with a petition to get the drums stopped. It would be a great way to meet my neighbors. I could be the cool, neighborhood activist that lives on the corner.

Finally, someone’s going to get rid of those damn drums. That guy really cares about our community and I like him.

The fear, of course, is that my activist plans would backfire and I would be labeled a kid-hater who isn’t supportive of the local schools. Maybe the drummers would find out about my petition and begin to harass me. First, they’ll egg my car, then it will escalate to death threats. Middle school kids can be particularly vicious, especially in large numbers – complicated by the added juvenile delinquency of their being drummers.

And why is he still asleep at 8am? Get a job, loser!

These kids think they can bait me? I'll show them. I'll just wrap the pillow around my head and grumble like an angry old man!

Ya take that hoodlums!