Partisan Marketing: Buy Red/Blue

The dividing of America continues. With many states still defining themselves defiantly as “blue” or “red”, it’s no big surprise that corporate America is now trying to market their products directly to one side or the other.

Take a look at these outlandish schemes to divide our country!


The Blue Man Group – You might think these blue-painted performers are thinking about the amazing stunts for their next show. Nope! They’re dreaming of high taxes, big government, and legalized marijuana! Every dollar spent on these androgynous mutes will go to Michael Moore and the French Government. They'd rather be dead than red!

Red Zone Deodorant – Now you can stay shower fresh all day while simultaneously letting the world know you’re against gay marriage with new Old Spice Red Zone deodorant stick! Why wear Red Zone?… because the Blue Zone stinks! Choose Red Zone… it’s like having Donald Rumsfeld right in your armpit!


Blue Corn chips – What could be more natural than corn chips free of coloring and preservatives?? A woman’s right to choose of course! Blue corn chips tell the guests at your party you demand quality... and the Ten Commandments out of the classroom! Crunch all you want… George Bush sucks!


Big Red Soda – Nothing says I love Nascar like a sugar-filled soda that will turn your lips red and your neck redder! Big Red is more than the official soda for the conservative right, it’s the soda of choice for Jesus himself! “Whoever drinketh of this soda, shall have everlasting… refreshment!”

So there ya have it.

Now wouldn't it be cool if Buy Blue endorsed the Red State Store?

Maybe then we'll all be one America.