Thoughtlets VI: The Perils of Flight 453 to Burbank

Sunset on flight 453

Every now and then, there's not enough to fill a whole blog entry -- just half-thoughts and observations

- Yet again, my boarding pass had some sort of secret symbol, so I got my usual pat-down, spin-around, and wand-waving. I think they should make the boarding pass a “scratcher”. Uh-huh, match any three caliber of weapons and you win the Homeland Security dental exam.

- In the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport, there’s a sign that reads “Family Toilet” accompanied by generic stick figures of a child, mother, and father. I had to laugh, and wonder if the toilets in this room have the same evolution: a tiny child “pottie”, a dainty lady-like commode, then a manly industrial poop pipe.

- When the flight attendant announces: “We’d like to extend a special welcome to our Advantage and Advantage Gold passengers,” I like to cheer and applaud wildly from the back of the plane. It’s like she’s doing a shout-out just for me!

- I was disappointed to learn that membership in the Mile High Club has nothing to do with taking a dump at 30,000 feet. Guess I’m not a member afterall.

- If the little black box is made to survive a plane crash, why not design the whole plane out of it?

- I think that before the captain comes on the speaker, he should blow one of those Navy whistles. It could be an American Airlines trademark, and the flight attendants would know to pause the “Two and a Half Men” reruns so the captain can speak.

- Maybe the “Family Toilet” has several commodes in a circle – you know, a kind of toilet-in-the-round.

- Bernie Birmingham sez: Don’t try to bring your weed on the plane!