20 Minutes to Apocalypse?

Like many people, I received an email claiming that Hurricane Katrina was an act of God's wrath on Louisiana for the sin and homosexual depravity that regularly goes on in New Orleans.

Some might point out that God's wrath missed the mark by sparing the New Orleans French Quarter (where all the fun happens) and instead destroying the other surrounding area. But as they say, God works in mysterious ways.

I am no longer a religious man. But when I did attend church I was never a believer in this kind of fire and brimstone Old Testament deity. No, I opted for the loving, merciful God who is ever-forgiving and cares for each and every one of his children as a shepherd cares for his sheep.

But that God is OUT!!

The new God is the old God, and he likes a good smack down! This is the Apocalypse, folks, and I can certainly attest that all I got from the other God was 20 grand in debt and an empty cupboard.

All the cool people with the money and power in this country are into wrath. They like to smear their enemies in the press, bomb civilians into submission, and torture enemy prisoners with humiliation and sexual depravity. They've got the ear of God and God rewards them by lining their wallets with Enron-sized profits and by punishing the wicked on the Gulf Coast, and more recently the 54,000 people in Pakistan.

I don't possess the direct link that I can know why God smashed Pakistan. But I'd guess it was because Pakistan is the probable new host for Osama Bin Laden.

Unfortunately, it was the Kashmir area near India that was hit, as opposed to the border near Afghanistan where OBL is probably being hidden. Being zero for 2 on his accuracy, some people might point out that God is like the US missile that flies past the terror camp and hits the baby formula factory. But not me! I'm falling in line.

You see, as an American who lives in Los Angeles, I can read the writing on the wall. The "big one" here will kill 180,000 people, lead to riots, starvation, looting, and rampant lawlessness. There will be no rescue from Washington.

I'm buying a gun and stocking up on soup. 'Cause mercy is for sissies and us blue states will eventually get what's coming to us.

Will you be next??