Yosemite Weekend

Yosemite Weekend
Posted by: codos.

Embarrassing that I've lived in SoCal since 1990 and yet just now got back from my first trip to Yosemite.

The Yosemite Valley was breathtaking, but the Eastern Sierra along Tioga Pass was really fantastic and had a lot less people.

I'm a dreamer... but the Pacific Rim Trail goes from Mexico to Canada. How feasible would it be for me to do a part of it?

Hmm...

Dr. Bronner’s Zen Mastery

When I went to bed at midnight, all was well. But by 8am I had the million ant march from the back door across the kitchen to the garbage and the cat’s bowl. The lines on the throw rug are unmistakable even without my contact lenses – double and triple lines of ants, swarming across the floor, then doubling back hurriedly to deliver captured food to the nest. I can’t imagine the Ant Queen is satisfied with Oggy’s kidney formula kibble for geriatric kiddies. No sir, she’ll prefer egg yolk-soaked turkey skin from my garbage over kitty food. As would my kitty. (And as would I.)

Dealing with the ants is an annual rite of summer. Like fresh corn on the cob and frosty dripping Popsicles (both of which attract the ants of course). But over the years I’ve learned a few things about dealing with ants. Traps don’t work. And the mass slaughter with pesticide is smelly and could make kitty sick. So now I use Dr. Bronner’s Eucalyptus Castille Soap.

Learning about Dr. Bronner’s was like being let in on a counter-culture secret. The coworker who told me about it was the same one who referred me to my acupuncturist. The same one who said a daily teaspoon of apple cider vinegar would keep me from getting sick. And this year I learned that Dr. Bronner’s was the organic soap of choice in the bathhouse at the Tassajara Buddhist monastery. These endorsements mean you definitely won’t find Dr. Bronner in the Sunday paper coupons, or on eye-level shelves at Safeway. I half imagined this stuff being peddled to stoners at Burning Man from the back of a dusty station wagon, or to hippies in Haight-Ashbury.

The Dr. Bronner’s label is crammed with tiny writing. A careful study in the proper light reveals a dizzying weave of semi-Christian “All-are-One” scripture.

God bless the persecuted! They alone are his chosen people!…

Moving along the label randomly…

God has not promised skies always blue, flower-strewn pathways all our lives through. Warning! Keep out of eyes! Flush with water!

I once showed a friend the tiny written Bible verse on the bottom of the In-N-Out Burger cup. She was so upset by this she didn’t think she could eat there again. It’s too bad that religion is often wholly discarded due to the lives taken in its name.

I can’t imagine Pine Sol or some mainstream Proctor & Gamble cleanser having such verses on its labeling. Then again, that’s a poor example since we all know that Proctor and Gamble funnels their profits to the Church of Satan. (Just kidding, I know that’s an urban legend, please don’t sue me. Seriously, it was a joke. Please rein in your lawyers and dark majicks!)

The first of the Buddhist Precepts is the vow not to kill, which arguably includes ants. A shame, since squishing two million ants with just your thumb is probably a wonderfully zen practice. It’s much easier to spray them with Dr. Bronner’s wonderful soap.

I don’t see any reference on the label to its use as a natural pesticide. But sure enough, spray the diluted soap on ants and they wander about slowly then keel over.

Yet again, an instrument of peace is the instrument of death. Sorry, but happiness is a clean kitchen.

Home Sweet Sucks Home

I don’t like Glendale.

It feels like sacrilege to be on record about it. But I don’t like where I live. Probably the god awful heat that’s bringing it out of me at this moment. (Amazingly enough, it only got up to 91 today. I’ll have 107 to look forward to in weeks to come.)

I’m regularly bopping around Los Angeles. From Pasadena to West Hollywood, I’m all over the city and am happy as a clam wherever I go. But here in Glendale, I’m crabby about the heat, bitching about the construction across the street and bitter about the freeway noise.

Yes, the traffic in Los Angeles is bad, but why am I only screaming when I get to Glendale? You see, it’s my assertion that in Glendale, it’s not the traffic, it’s the drivers. What are they doing? And why won’t they move when they have the opportunity?

A whopping 54% of the population here in Glendale is foreign born. Stop and think a moment about that, will you? That means most of my community is deep set into their own culture, clinging primarily to themselves and those of their own nationality. For a white guy from Kentucky, Glendale is not a friendly place.

A couple of years ago when I was selling insurance, I had an appointment with a woman at a local café. When she learned I lived in Glendale, she about dropped her croissant.

You live in Glendale? How do you put up with all those Armenians.

Her question had me flummoxed given the woman’s name was Noushik Narakalajian.

Oh yes, she said, I’m Armenian. But my husband and I moved to Valencia. I can’t take Glendale. The people are awful. Just awful.

I used to tell the joke that going to the bank in Glendale was like standing in a bread line: old men scolding their grandchildren for their youth, women hunched over with grim, sour faces… and those were the bank tellers!

Mrs. Narakalajian’s words at the café were somewhat comforting. To hear myself single out a culture and make generalizations has me filled with shame. After all, I’m the guy who ranted against the racist comments of my ex-brother-in-law who regularly railed against African-Americans to his teenage boys, then chuckled proudly to himself. “Oh, come on! I’m just joking!”

If it weren’t for my great apartment and its proximity to work, I’d stop bitching and move to Valencia. Mrs. Narakalajian and I could enjoy golf lessons in our white bread suburban planned communities. We’d see each other at backyard barbeques and pat ourselves on the backs for our successful melting pot here in "Los Angeles!"

And once we’re each suitably buzzed, we’d go our separate ways, lock our doors and peek out from behind the blinds at the neighbors and bitch about how the community is going to hell.

"Shut Up Little Man!!!"

"Shut Up Little Man!!!"
Posted by: codos.

While wandering the streets of San Francisco in the Haight Ashbury section yesterday, I saw this sign. For about a second, it meant absolutely nothing to me.

Then, in a flash, I realized it had comic/tragic historical significance. O'Looney's is featured prominently in the story of Raymond and Peter, and "Shut Up Little Man."

Poke around the net a bit and the audio might just make you laugh.

You know... if a couple drunks yelling at each other is your idea of funny.

Kinda Cool or Kinda Disturbing?

Deciding between the two is a common dilemma of mine.

And this link is no exception.

Reason 122: Why I Love LA

While listening to NPR on the drive time today, I learned another reason I love Los Angeles.

I've always been a big fan of the Hollywood Bowl shows that have the LA Philharmonic playing musical scores while the films themselves played on the screen above. Now, it looks like they've gone the next logical step...

Tonight, the Bowl features "Videogames Live!" a concert of music from videogames of today and yesterday. What an incredible idea!

Imagine hearing a live orchestra play overtures from Warcraft, Myst, Everquest, Mario, and Donkey Kong accompanied by clips, and light shows.

One of the highlights of the show involves audience members playing a live Frogger game, and the 70+ member orchestra must improv along to the appropriate music as the game changes.

Pretty cool!

Thoughtlets VII: Revenge of the Links

Heading home, finally
Posted by: codos.

Every now and then, there's not enough to fill a whole blog entry -- just half-thoughts and observations. Today, as I struggled to update, I knew it was time to pass along some worthy links.

- It's been a busy holiday weekend for me: a dinner party, then a BBQ in Manhattan Beach, then white water rafting on the Kern River (digital photos n/a).

- I didn't know there was an Ugliest Dog Contest, but since there is, I'm glad to see a dog like this is a winner.

- Now if that was even slightly disturbing, you won't want to see this, the video to Rubber Johnny. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, DON'T CLICK THAT IF YOU'RE PRONE TO NIGHTMARES.

- Don't hate me too much for that link. Last week really was a week for creepy, what with scientists creating zombie dogs and all.

- I own almost all of the Buffy series on dvd, but I'll still stop to watch the reruns on FX when they run. Faith rocks! Speaking of, it's good to see that vampires have started their own version of internet dating.

- When my friend Quinn was in town, he and I went cd shopping and we saw a category in the store for "Emo". Unclear as to what emo was exactly, we had to ask the anorexic (very emo) store clerk. Now, luckily, there's a film that can explain emo and how to be it. (Not for the short attention span)

- Speaking of emo, I wonder if Rosey Griers Needlepoint for Men would qualify him for Emo-dom??

- I hear cd sales are through the roof for the artists from Live 8. Proves again that charity makes for a good gig. In the spirit of Live 8, try getting the world leaders of the G8 to do what you want at Action 8. It's the link for this week.