Mexicoan Sun

Mexicoan Sun
Posted by: codos.

I've been severely deficient in posting lately due to working/playing hard.

But here's a lovely sunset just so there'll be something new here.

Back and Exhausted

Just returned from a trip with some pals to Ensenada. Twas a blast but I'm beat and have got a big week ahead.

This week's link allows you to create your own South Park character. I created one of myself, but botched and lost it and was too tired to start over at press time.

I must credit buzznet pal dvl and her group blog The Real World Blogger Style for the great find!

and then there was one...

I had not thought that Boston Writer Girl was that attached to me. In retrospect, I should have known better when she mentioned I had been assigned my own ringer tone on her cell.

I got together with Boston Writer last week and knew I was going to say it. I had been ambivalent... she had been ambivalent... and things with Academy Girl had escalated so nicely that continuing to see them both was going beyond studly on my part and entering sleezebag territory.

We'd enjoy our dinner, and our beers and I would come clean with the truth: That I'd been seeing someone else at the same time and it was getting more serious. And though I was determined to not let "let's be friends" pass my lips, it would be implied. We'd kiss, continue to email and eventually combine our social circles.

As you can probably guess, this did not go as planned. In fact, it actually went quite terribly.

A few minutes into eating, she began to ask me about what we were doing. Where was this going? What was I thinking? I took the segue, smiled shyly and started in with what I had to say...

"I can't believe this," she said. "You're making a mistake. I was trying to take it slow, for you." she said. "This other girl put out and now you're attached?"

I told her it was not like that. I just didn't want to be that guy, sleeping with one girl while I strung another along. It wasn't fair to anyone.

"That's why you're the perfect guy," she said.

I was flattered. I was paralyzed. Everything I said sounded stupid, so I finally just stopped talking.

And now our whole dinner is just a complete blurr of miserable moments. No matter what I said, Boston Writer just threw compliments at me. She said she continued to go out with other men only to check her watch 30 minutes into the dates. Even dates that she enjoyed, she had said to herself, they're not "Harold." She had made a list of the ten perfect things about me, had put it in a card and was going to give it to me the next time.

I never expected a breakup scene, but that's exactly what it was. She finally ran out of the restaurant when she thought she was about to start crying...


Since then, she and I have talked on the phone, and she now understands that I clearly think I have something with this other woman that I don't have with her. She's willing to try to be pals and we even got together for ice cream.

Hopefully, we really will be friends and I'm not just feeling better about myself now that she'll speak to me. Time will tell...

Dating By the Numbers...

I'm not big on diary style entries, but it's definitely time I updated my dating drama and eHarmony adventures...

After that initial week, eHarmony has pretty much fizzled on me for new matches. Either the new ladies have shut me down immediately or I have shut them down due to lack of photos (go here for an explanation of that). But lack of new matches was actually kind of helpful since I've had my hands full...

For the last several weeks, I've been alternating dates with Academy Girl and Boston Writer Girl (a refresher on these women is here), seeing one on a Friday and the other on a Saturday for several successive weekends.

My attraction to Academy Girl has continued to escalate. There is also a nice synchronicity with her, since we have someone in common. Yes, the odds of this in LA are really amazing, but she works with my yoga teacher friend whom I met at Tassajara. In addition to that, while she and I were on a date in the Santa Monica Promenade last week, we went into Barney's Beanery to find two of my really good friends there having dinner and sat down to join them. Everytime Academy Girl would leave the table, my friends were knocking me over with how much they liked her.

Meanwhile, I've still been seeing the Boston Writer. She's excellent at movie analysis after we saw The Upside of Anger and I have no trouble talking to her about my ex-marriage. She's amazingly inciteful and sensitive and funny! She and I would flip from laughing hysterically to being intensely vulnerable, and yet, the original chemistry we had from that first date just hasn't been as intense so I've been ambivalent. And when she made me dinner a few weeks ago, I sensed ambivalence on her part as well.

I should stop a moment and tell you that Annette, my internet friend in the Louisiana bayou ran the "numbers" on both these women. That is, I gave her their exact birthdays and she wrote out a profile for each, matching it to the numbers from my own birthday. Now, this is all pretty nonsensical to me, and yet Annette's totally blind results did pretty well. And she prefaced this by reminding me about the numbers for my ex-wife, who was born on 11/11.

What do you think all those 1's mean?! she said. They mean there's no room in her life for anyone but herself!

Pretty damning testimony.

Anyway, Annette was pretty excited about Boston Writer Girl and said she was a keeper, and almost a perfect match.

She likes to travel, is concerned about others, placing others ahead of herself, well above average intelligence, is probably studious and enjoys reading.

Boston had recently returned from Asia and was schooled in Europe and graduated from Amherst.

She has a terrific personality... she is ruled by her personality and will follow its dictates.

Recall my review that she had an audacious personality. Annette was much more cautious about Academy Girl...

Handle this one with care. Those 2 "7's" make her hypersensitive. You know how sensitive you are.. this one's really bad.

I have yet to have any hypersensitive issues, at least none that trouble me.

Also questionable feelings of self worth. She's ruled COMPLETELY by her heart, loves people and is probably in a profession of service to others ie; legal aid, social work, counseling, possibly nursing.

Well, none of those specific professions...

She cries in sad movies, forms very strong emotional attachments, perhaps too easily, has a strong sex drive and bonds to her partner...don't sleep with this one unless you're ready for a serious commitment.

Oops!!

I also feel she's been raked over the coals and been taken advantage of. Please treat this one gently. The two of you are a lot alike which is probably why you're drawn to her...let me remind you what happened the last time. You need someone to complement you...

Recall that Academy Girl is the one who just got out of a 3 year relationship. And what Annette cautions here is something that really paralyzes me. That ultimately I will be attracted to someone who is completely wrong for me and brushing off someone who is ultimately right.

To Be Continued...

"Stuck With Bush Sr. Everwheres I Go"

by Bill Clinton, Guest Blogger
It started out pretty simple. President Bush called me to work with his father to promote the US Tsunami Relief effort. So Bush Sr. and I got together and filmed some PSA’s and made a few speeches together. I think people liked seeing us former political adversaries up there getting along and raising money for a truly important cause. Little did I know what I'd signed on for…

The Tsunami Relief Fund wanted to get the two of us out to southeast Asia to tour the devastation. To save money, they put George H.W. and I on the same plane. I gave him the only bed while I slept on the floor of the plane, even though I'd just had heart surgery. Of course George W. made a call and most of the news outlets killed the story (you can google it and see for yourself).

But get this... Bush Sr. and I were touring the awful devastation in this country and people’s homes were all washed away and their lives were destroyed and he says to me, “Bill?” and I says “Yeah?” He says, “Are we sposed to eat anytime soon? Is there a buffet later or something?” And I said, “I really don’t know, George.”

“You think there’s a taco stand or a McDonalds nearby or something?” And then, I swear to God, he picked up a box of saltines out of the rubble and actually looked inside. Luckily there was no crackers in it, ‘cause if George Bush ate a cracker out of the tsunami garbage I would have just fell over right there!

Now, that is not the end of the story of course, cause all the sudden whenever there is a State dinner or something and I'm invited, who do you think they seat me with?

You guessed it! Good God, where is Gerald Ford when you need him?

Then Pope John Paul II died. And on the sad occasion of his funeral, something happened that really rattled me...

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and I had tentatively made arrangements to go out drinking the night before the funeral. But when I arrived in Rome, Silvio bristled and said he couldn’t go.

So Jacques Chirac says to me the next morning, “Where were ya, Bill? Me, Silv and Cardinal Vascala went bar hopping last night. You missed a good time.” So I went to Silvio and said, “What gives?”

Silvio goes all steely, leans in and says, “It’s not you, Bill. It’s your shadow.” And he points to Bush Sr. who’s walking up at that very second. And Bush is all "Do I have time for a pitstop, if you know what I mean?" Then he gives a wink to Archbishop Antonelli and says, “Hey, good luck in the Pope vote.”

I’m like holy hell, he did not just say that. I mean, John Paul isn’t even in the ground yet and he’s saying something like that.

I mean, that’s just wrong. Don’t you think?

So the funeral starts and we're sitting there in front of the body and it's really just this incredibly reverent, awesome moment of silence and Bush leans over to me and says, waaay too loud, by the way, "It looks like he's sleeping, doesn't it?" And I'm trying to ignore him, you know, but he can't let it go. "Bill?" he says even louder, "Doesn't it look like he's sleeping?"

Let me tell you, I looked up from prayer and just gave him the look from hell. But he starts shakin' his head, "You don't think he's actually sleeping, do you? That would be awful." Bush didn't say a word the rest of the ceremony so maybe he got the message.

Already, he's hinting around at playing golf sometime. No disrespect, but I just want to hide under a blanket for six weeks with the phone off the hook and pray there's not another State funeral to go to. If there is, I swear to God, I'm gonna jump in the hole with whoever's bein' buried. Of course George'd probably just jump in after me. "Is this the way to the receiving line, Bill?"

I mean, come on now! Is it me??

I've got multiple entries on the way, but none of them completed. Until then, here's the new link...

Iron Hymen in the sister site to Sex is for Fags. These sites are totally un-PC and completely inappropriate.

And funny as hell. More soon.

Your Favorite Mnemonic Device...

I am constantly mixing up Memorial Day with Labor Day. One begins the summer and the other ends it. Which one is coming up? I find it ironic that one of these holidays has the word “memory” in it.

How embarrassing.

Can someone please give me a mnemonic device? You know, a “Spring forward-Fall back” sort of thing?

This got me to thinking about these mnemonic devices and how useful they are. “30 days has September” -- who doesn't use that??

All the rest have 31, except February; it has 28.

I’m a harsh critic of whoever invented that one, because the end doesn’t rhyme. It’s like they just gave up when it got hard.

To this day, I still remember how to spell the word dessert because I know it’s twice as sweet as desert. The alphabet song is probably the first mnemonic device every child learns. I wonder who invented that. Do they get residuals every time a child sings it?

One of my coworkers just walked in and mentioned "righty-tighty lefty-loosey". Nice job! That is one sweet and meaty mnemonic device!

I can never remember the full version of “March comes in like a lion.” My theory is that the information it’s helping you remember is kind of useless anyway. Mnemonic devices you can’t remember are lamer than lame.

I know there are many more I’m just not thinking of right now. Please help refresh my memory. Ahh, Lizzie Borden took an axe... gave her mother forty whacks. Now that's important!

And please send help with the Memorial/Labor Day thing! I would hate to be attending a union rally when I should be at a war memorial.

Or is that Veterans Day!?

** UPDATE Friend and fellow blogger, Kezia, informs me (and rightfully so) that the one about March coming in like a lion, as well as Lizzie Bordon, are not really mnemonic devices. But Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492 would make the cut. Nice work!

Hedberg Update...

The Blog of Death has recently included Mitch Hedberg in their archives.

Fresh Link

I know oh so many people who will love this one. From my beer guzzling frat friends (now mircrobrew afficianados) to a certain crew who loves martinis (uh-huh you know who you are!) Modern Drunkard Magazine is a mine full of comedy gems! My personal favorite is the "Wino Wisdom".

My thanks to Rykk for the discovery... Not since Foster Brooks has drunkeness been so delightfully un-PC!