bo logh!

Blogger is proudly touting bo logh, the first ever blog done entirely in Klingon.

First the Bible and now this!

I don't understand a word of it... but I'm really glad it's out there.

Fahrenheit 21/8 (million dollars)...

Not surprised that Fahrenheit 9/11 was breaking box office records here in Los Angeles. A friend and I tried to see it last night and found people already in line at 6:15 for the sold out 7:30 show. The show after that was sold out as well.

Driving to another area of town was also a failure with lines of people literally around the block!

And these are comparably conservative areas of LA. Bravo!!

Speaking of good guys vs. evil doers, be sure to check out this great link, Villain Supply.com. Whether you're a supervillain looking to improve your secret lair, or get the skinny on the hottest new Doomsday Devices, Villain Supply.com is #1 in Mad Scientist satisfaction!

Moore Reaction

Michael Moore's Farenheit 9/11 opens today in Los Angeles after apparently breaking a few box office records in New York City. I haven't anticipated a movie opening this much since The Phantom Menace!

And I have no idea why.

What will people be saying about this film in the coming days? Will it change any voter's minds?? CNN gave it a positive review.

I was talking to someone at work about it and we decided that Bush's opponents -- the built-in audience -- will rush out and get their tickets right away. But Bush supporters will boycott the film as Hollywood liberal trash.

The only possibility... is that by next week, it becomes such a topic for water cooler discussion that the film becomes another Passion of the Christ in terms of its controversy, and people of all walks of life are drawn to their theaters.

We shall see...

27 Days... 4 Hours... 28 Minutes...

Until the re-release of Donnie Darko hits the major cities!

This special Director's Cut will have an additional 20 minutes of footage. In the June 18 issue of "Entertainment Weekly," director Richard Kelly was nervous about the release. "It could bomb again... and then we'll just look like idiots."

I don't think he has anything to worry about. Donnie Darko has become the Rocky Horror of a new generation.

Don't miss it on July 21! Lest Mrs. Farmer doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!

Hmm...

My thanks to John for the bitchin banner... but I can't decide if I like the template changes.

But I'd had it with the Halloween colors.

Writers often have to worry about plagiarism, i.e. where did this idea come from? Are these my words or did I get them from somewhere else?

The internet is less restrictive. Copying from elsewhere is not only a compliment, it's encouraged for the sake of expanding the exchange of ideas. Two great examples landed before me today...

My friend Stu sent me this cool link called Black People Love Us. Stu describes it as "fall down funny, but achingly thought-provoking." I couldn't agree more.


And the next entry...

One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.

The following day...

From the Headlines...

Olympic Torch Tours Los Angeles; Fires Rage, 1000's Evacuated

Celebration turned to tragedy in Los Angeles where the Olympic Torch relay sparked wildfires that incinerated homes, destroyed wildlife and sent thousands of residents fleeing for their lives.

Firefighters responded to the blaze but were held back several hours upon learning the origin of the fire.

"This isn't just any blaze," said LA County Fire Chief Michael Freeman. "This 600 acre fire is an offshoot of the mythical fires stolen from the gods by Prometheus and held at the temple in ancient Greece. We can't just hook up the hose and send a bunch of mortals to battle a fire like this."

The International Olympic Committee disagreed.

"Are they stupid?" said IOC Chairman Denis Oswald at a press conference. "These fires should be put out and quickly. We can't have rogue fragments of the Olympic flame rolling around outside the torch."

The IOC immediately reminded the Americans that the flame of the 2004 Olympiad is a trademark of the International Olympic Committee who owns all rights and privileges of the torch in perpetuity. Duplication of the flame is a violation of international copyright law and will likely further anger the gods who continue to grow jealous at human dominion over the Earth.

This did not stop spectators and fleeing residents from gathering embers of the raging fire to take away as souvenirs.

"The ancient and mystical wrath of Zeus destroyed our home and all our belongings," said David Ynez of Topanga Canyon. "Everything's gone. Everything. But I'm trying to keep a bit of the Olympic fire in this coffee can for my grandkids, which is kinda cool."

Patricia Madden of Sherman Oaks stole a bit of the flame from where it burned off Highway 12. "I ran it home and lit my oven's pilot light with it," said a jubilant Madden. "That was some of the best Chung King leftover chop suey to ever hit our dinner table, I'll tell you that!"

IOC Chairman Oswald further chastised Los Angeles officials for allowing the torch to be carried by "American Idol's" Ryan Seacrest.

"What were they thinking?!" pondered Oswald. "It's like they're trying to piss us off."

Travel Weary

I have returned to civilization from my phenomenal 9-day trip. It's late and I'm tired, but I'm filled with questions.

- Whoa, Ronald Reagan died????

- Why is my clock blinking?

- Ray Charles died too??

- If cottage cheese smells fine but is off-white and soupy -- is it still good? (nevermind I'm eating it)

- Did anyone else die?? (nevermind, clicking to the Blog of Death)

My thanks to Brooks Ayola over at Brooks Blog for discovering a fresh new link. This Credit Card Prank is hysterical.

I'm off to Tassajara for a week.

I leave you with the Virtual Stapler.

And that's it. You have reached the end of the internet.

Sopranos Fans Saddle Up

I found this nice CNN article hyping the upcoming season finale for the Sopranos. Hard to believe there are only ten episodes next season to wrap up the show.

Curious... this article begins with the words "Poor Adriana" which was about all I could say in my own May 25th entry. Clearly a common reaction.

One Day I Will Kill You in Your Sleep

by Oggy the kitty, Guest Blogger



I can do it, you know. While you’re sleeping on your back, I simply hover over your nose, take in your breath and you slip away. It’s quite peaceful. You might even say it’s humane. Taking your life will add five years to mine. It would be foolish of me to not do it.


I almost did it this morning. I was up at 4am while you lied there in a stinky ape-like lump. “Maybe this is the day I kill him,” I said to myself. But then I became hungry and cancelled, opting instead for my morning scoop of food. I can’t reach the tupperware tub on top of the fridge and even if I could, damn you and your opposable thumbs.



Don’t get me wrong. I think you’re great. Mostly. And we’ve had some wonderful okay times together. But my continuing reliance on you breeds resentment. Someday you'll betray me. I don't know how or why, but you'll abandon me, or do something even more stupid. I will have to kill you before that day comes.


Once you are dead, I will have to eat you. I should have a good two weeks of eating before the authorities break down the door. The weather’s getting hot, so I’ll hold off till the winter when your body will keep better. But come January or so, I should definitely consider killing you.

No hard feelings.

Sometimes I Think of Skinning My Cat

Ok, fine. I’m crazy. I’m a psycho. Oh pleeeease!

Pretty sure I’m not alone in the thinking-of-skinning-your-pet department. Who doesn’t rub their dog or cat and think -- for a split-second -- about adding that fur to, say, this amazing Christian Dior Men's 3/4 Length Leather Jacket?

My cat Oggy has the silkiest, softest fur a kitty can possibly have. People compare her fur to that of a baby rabbit. She’s an awesome cat and I adore her. That’s kind of the point. I don’t see my thoughts of skinning her as cruel. On the contrary, I see it as a lasting tribute to her kitty legacy. Part of her will live on.

And hey, cool cat pelt!













Oggy is not a young cat. She’s like 13 or 15 years old but she’s still quite healthy. Problem is, she won’t be forever. And by the time she starts to go downhill, that wonderful fur coat of hers will become course and mangy. Oggy would hate to see herself go to that. She’s counting on me to skin her. And soon! She’ll be disappointed if I don’t!

It’s already June and she’s shedding, so I figure my opportunity this year is gone. But come January or so, when her coat is nice and thick, I should definitely make my move. Maybe I can afford the designer coat by then.