Report from Hawaii

Hotel:  Nice.

daiquiris:  Tasty

Weather:  Muggy

Free Time:  Limited

The Reason Studios Give Notes

 
As time has passed, I've given some thought to my review of the Donnie Darko Director's Cut... 

If this was Richard Kelly's true vision of the movie, he really layed it on thick and overexplained the plot, obliterating the reason it creates such lively discussions.  Good thing the studio had some input into the original cut.  This sort of backs up my theory that he stumbled backwards into making a film that was thought-provoking and really brilliant.

To make up for my blasphemous opinion, here is the link to Richard Kelly's new film, Southland Tales, still under construction.  The music is beautiful and haunting -- I've just been letting it play in the office while I'm working. 

Tomorrow... leaving on a jet plane...

Paradise Here I Come

 
On Tuesday I'm going to Hawaii for work.

I'll be stuck in a hotel room from 8am to 6:30pm conducting interviews so I won't get to see any of the sights.  I'll be pretty lucky to even put my foot in the water.  But that doesn't stop people at work from hating me. 

"Your first trip for the company and you're going to Hawaii?  I hate you!"

I can't count how many times people have said that to me.  Oh well, I'd probably hate me too.

The last two weeks have involved making phone calls to Honolulu and hearing the locals say "Aloha" and "Mahalo."  At first I thought it was just a put-on for us mainlanders, but I'm starting to think they actually talk that way! 

It's quite strange to hear those words when you're not in Hawaii.  Sort of like hearing someone say "namaste" outside of yoga class.

I predict photos... and pineapple.

Donnie Darko Director's Cut is Out!

The Tangent Universe collapsed 1000 days ago...

But tonight I went with my friend Sam to the KCRW screening of the "Donnie Darko" Director's Cut.  No, there weren't any special guest speakers.   Poo.

It was awesome to see one of my favorite cable/DVD movies on the big screen!  And with a good crowd who laughed in all the right places.  I had figured the audience was filled with geeks seeing it for the 12th time (like me), but there were clearly quite a few people who were seeing the Director's Cut as their virgin introduction to Donnie Darko. 

This new Director's Cut is a slicker, more polished production, but the greatest thing about it is the audio.  The quality is leaps and bounds above the original.  Sometimes the dialog was muffled in the original and important lines were missed.  Not anymore!  All of Frank's dialog is crisper and easier to understand.  That said, the Director's Cut is not necessarily a better movie.  In fact, some of the music changes negated some of my favorite moments of the film.  But it's definitely worth seeing (and owning when the DVD comes out).

A lot of Donnie Darko fans land on this site, so I'm going to list in detail some of the changes.  If you are not a fanatic, or would rather spot the changes on your own, come read this later.  Or, here, go play at the Donnie Darko website...

 
Music Changes 

Echo and the Bunnymen's "Killing Moon" is gone, replaced by INXS's "Never Tear Us Apart." 

Verdict?  The lyrics fit well, but it doesn't snap us into the movie with the same bang. 

"Under the Milkyway" is gone from the Halloween party scene, replaced by a very different mix of "The Killing Moon." 

Verdict?  The use of "Under the Milkyway" is one of my favorite moments in the film, and I missed it.

Sparkle Motion dance group does not dance to "West End Girls" -- it remains Duran Duran and "Notorious."

 
Added Scenes

There are a couple of great added/extended scenes.  If you poked around the extras on the DVD, you'll remember them. 

Most noteworthy is when Donnie's dad is talking at the Holiday Inn about their friend who died on his way to the prom.  Not only can you hear the dialog now, but he refers to someone watching over Donnie, a nice reference to God, and that Dad knows something special is going on with their son. 

I also love an added scene that has Donnie's dad giving him advice.  But I'm undecided on the new scenes in the English class that refer to "Watership Down."   More of Drew Barrymore is a good thing, but I'm not sure how to integrate Donnie's angry interpretation of the book.

 
Looping Deletions

Looping is an audio term that refers to background dialog or "walla" that is added in post production, usually to crowd scenes.  They deleted a lot of the looping. 

Verdict?  Very good choice. 

For example, Cherita is no longer heckled when she performs her angelic dance during the talent show.  At the moment of her dance, Donnie is being sent by Frank to burn down Jim Cunningham's house.  There's a beauty to the dance that added a wonderful sense of irony to that.  It was robbed by the heckling.  Nice cut.

Another looping cut was the unseen parents cheering Mrs. Farmer during the PTA Meeting.  The cheers made it seem that this private school was overrun with conservative book burners. 

 
Curious/Odd Cuts

There were other small cuts throughout the film that were interesting choices.

- When Drew Barrymore's character is fired, she no longer makes the "we're losing them to apathy" speech.  Odd.

- Drew's character talks to Donnie with "Cellar Door" on the chalkboard behind her, but she no longer tells him that "everything is going to be okay."  Later, after Donnie shoots Frank with the gun, he still tells the guy in the clown costume that "everything is going to be okay" --- but now this moment is even more out of left field since he's not repeating his teacher's words. 

- When Donnie is in the movie theater talking to Frank, Gretchen sits between them, asleep.  Donnie asks, "What happened to your eye?"  In the original, Frank replies, "I'm so sorry."  This line was cut.  It was a nice reference to the fact that Frank will later run over Gretchen in the car -- and she looks pretty dead while sleeping in the scene. 

- During the Halloween party, Donnie looks into the "spear" coming out of Gretchen's chest -- in the original, you can hear Mrs. Pomeroy (Drew Barrymore) repeat the words "cellar door".   Most people don't even hear it anyway, but the line was cut. 


I highly recommend either version of Donnie Darko.  Hopefully the rerelease will introduce a whole new audience to this great movie!

Uh oh

 
That's no thunder cloud. 

Fires in Southern California are a summertime tradition.  But in the olden days (the late 90's) they would hardly ever be this close to the city's center.  Used to be, you'd have to drive out to San Bernadino or Castaic Lake to see one in person.    But what's Neil Diamond say?  "Used to be's don't count anymore." 



This pic was snapped from our Pasadena office window.  Apparently the big fire yesterday was started by a bird hitting a wire out in Santa Clarita.  I guess that beats some crazy arsonist psycho camper.

Meanwhile... my friend Sam got us tickets to see the KCRW screening of the Donnie Darko Director's Cut on Thursday.  These KCRW premieres often have follow-ups with the director or cast, which would be most excellent! 

Olympic Team Told to be Low-Key

 
So the US athletes are being asked to tone down their post-win revelry at the Olympics this year.  Apparently flagrant scenes of US pride and patriotism will only anger our enemies allies.  
 
I’m flashing back to the 2000 Olympics when that track star used the American flag as an interpretive garment and showed the world 33 ways to wear the US flag.  Let's see... he made it into a turban... a diaper... a toga... a superman cape... and a mink stole. 
 
My personal favorite was when he wore it over his head, like he was the red-white-and-blue ghost of Betsy Ross and ran around the stadium going “Wooooooo!!  WOOOO!!” frightening the children.  (Aussie kids scare easy)  Too bad the world now frowns on such creativity.  
 
Maybe there will be less car bombs if our athletes just let other countries win this year.  
  
Our athletes have likely been told not to take it personally if they when they get booed.  If anyone it'll be the American TV audience who won’t be ready for that.  
 

Martha, come quick. They’re booing the US team! 
 
Really?  Arabs are such bad sports!
 
No, it’s a bunch of NATO countries.
 
NATO?  Oh, they’ll let anybody in that nowadays. 

It’s a former member of the US Olympic Committee who is making the rounds and talking to all the US teams and coaches and teaching them etiquette.  He says they should be able to celebrate their victory any way they want, but wearing the flag as a skirt and running around the track might be in bad taste.  Apparently one athlete responded to all of this by pondering, “Why are you asking us to be so un-American?”
 
Our country’s attitudes about sportsmanship are so odd.  We’ve banned doing a jig in the end zone after a touchdown, but using the American Flag as a magic carpet or pretending you’re Dracula with a stars-and-stripes cape is a reason to chant “USA!  USA!” 
 
We make our kids shake hands with the other softball team, but how often do you see our national sports heroes do that?  It's like they're above it because they're professional. 
 
Of course the reality is that our athletes have nothing to do with the jeers or boos they will receive.  This is just the rest of the world shaming some people who are out there representing our country's continuing strive for excellence.  They should make no apologies for being the best.  And they have no reason to be ashamed.   

Even if, at this very moment, there’s a guy in Alabama wondering why NASCAR is not one of the Olympic games.  
 
It is highly likely that our Olympic teams will conduct themselves with style and class -- and they will do us all proud when they receive their medals.  And yet, the rest of the world will boo.  
 
Then it will be our turn to be ashamed of them.   

 
This week's link lets you sound off on where you think your favorite TV shows went wrong.  Check out Jump the Shark. 
 

But Lots of His Friends are Black

The rhetoric from White House spokesman Scott McClellan is just too funny as he explains "The President has many friends who are members of the NAACP."

Sometimes I honestly can't tell the difference between the White House and the spoof of the same!

Thoughtlets

Rather than post a complete thought, sometimes life is just a series of thoughtlets...

-- Funny to think that someday Iraq's weapons of mass destruction will be regarded as the international equivalent of an urban legend. Yes, yes! Iraqi WMD in the same breath as spider eggs in Bubblelicious!

-- Wouldn't it be great if First Ladys got to debate? I'd love to see Laura Bush and Theresa Heinz behind podiums on camera. They are both scary in their own way.

-- Iraqi WMD and the Proctor and Gamble logo is a symbol for Satan!

-- Well, well, well, looks like my buddy Neil has had a blog for months and didn't tell me! Good thing I was watching my site counter (HA! Like I'd take my eyes off it!) Neil blogs and posts poetry at "It's Blogalicious".

-- While the chicks at my office enjoy exploring My Cat Hates You and Rate My Kitten (on the sidebar), Joy shared this bizarre story of a kitten found paddling three miles out in the ocean!

-- I was going to delete the Tag Board, then it got 5 postings in a week. So much for house cleaning. Rock on interractivity!

Oh my.

This week's link is a real keeper. This guy digs a hole and... well you'll see.

It's so very wrong that it's totally perfect.

Shout Out to the Blogosphere

“As a blogger, you are both an individual force and a neuron in the giant, interconnected mind that is the blogosphere. Yes, it sounds like a bad sci-fi movie, but it's all true.”

These are words from an online article by Biz Stone. Well said.
As a tribute to said Blogosphere, here's a list of blogs I like to check regularly. Some of these bloggers are kind enough to link to Cellar Door and it’s time I returned the favor in some small way. Maybe someday I’ll have room to link them on the sidebar (as it is I’m constantly trying to "thin the herd" on the right). Enjoy

Biz Stone, Genius (of Google)
Brook’s Blog (LA photographer)
Just Another Pane in the Glass (Philippines)
Mike Lawson’s blog (PrettyWitty contributor)
Sean Bonner (LA artist, internet denizen)
Stag (Santa Monica Law Lady)
Suasoria (Kezia in LA)
Temporary-Sanity (Virginia liberal, Provance rebel)
Wil Wheaton.net (greatest celebrity geeks blog ever)

All Over But the Cryin'

There was a bombing at a local comedy club last night. Did it make the news? That's me crying on stage in the above picture. You can't see it in the photo, but everyone in the audience was holding their heads too.

But hey, you had fun doing it, right?

Not really. (See reference to "bombing" above)

But at least you enjoyed the experience of getting up there.

Again, see aforementioned bombing.

It probably wasn't nearly as bad as I'm making it out to be considering I'd never done it before. I got flustered and left out a whole sequence, so I was pretty disappointed in my performance. I was way too interactive and should have just blown through without paying any mind to laughter at all.

My only consolation? I didn't suck nearly as bad as the guy who went on after me.

Hey, that's something... right?

That Growing Edge

Tonight I've obliged myself to do stand-up at Marv & Mary's, a bar in LA with an open mic night.

I'm not an actor. I'm not a career comedian. I'm not out to play an angle or turn this into something else. I have no reason to do it other than to stretch that growing edge of human experience that puts fear and trepidation in my gut.

It's also an excuse to drink several beers earlier in the evening.

My friends Stu and John are already pitching me jokes!

"Everyone here familiar with Iraq? You know, the other day we handed the keys back to 'em. The only problem is, we're locked in."

And Stu sent this one...

"Well, Marlon Brando passed away, as you know. The funny thing is, at the funeral his casket was occupied by Sacheen Littlefeather."

HA! Beats the hell outta what I got...

I'm in trouble...

I’ve Wiped My Butt on Every Single Thing in This Apartment

by Oggy the kitty, Guest Blogger



I've got a lot of time on my hands. But that doesn't mean I'm lazy or lack motivation. I'm a motivated go-getter. And though it's taken a couple years, I've harnessed my ambition and succeeded in rubbing my ass on every single surface inside this house. People say that cats are clean animals...

Total. Complete. Myth.

Did you forget that you pried a urine soaked piece of kitty litter off my nose while I was lying on your pillow? Ha! No telling how long that had been there!

We like the appearance of cleanliness, but we're actually more toxic than a wet gorilla at the zoo. Like other cats, I'm only licking myself to deplete excess bacteria on my tongue. Germ-ridden feline saliva mixes with fur particles and dander to coat me with a noxious bacterial glaze.

Funny that you spend so much time cleaning my litter box given the fecal matter I've smeared on the TV screen, deposited inside of your drinking glass, and even gotten on the chandelier. I even put parasitic hook worms on the colander!


With such an enormous task completed, I'm unsure what I'll undertake next. For now, I'll sleep on it in a spot that I know is safe.

My Cat is Clean Enough to Eat Off Of

No, no, I've never done it. This isn't some outrageous post where I talk about how I want use my cat as a napkin, or lay a slice of pizza on her side and then eat it so I could say with some satisfaction: "My cat is clean enough to eat off of, I know 'cause I've done it." I'm just using this as a figure of speech.

Oh sure, maybe one time I dropped a Cheeto on her fur or something and no one was looking and I ate it. I don't know that this happened, but it could have.

It's just that my cat Oggy is so clean! She's totally kissable. Not the most macho thing to say. And now I've gone and put it on the internet. But who cares? Cats are the cleanest animals in the world!

Oggy is always bathing herself -- you know, when she isn't sleeping, or eating, or defecating, or vomiting. But all cats are like that -- cleanliness is clearly very high in the feline priorities.

Her tongue has course hairs on it that act like a comb, pulling out the dirt, and matted hair. Of course all this stuff is getting swallowed, which is surprising considering the random places I find cat hair spaghettigetti strainer??).

Ha! How'd that happen?


*** Oggy responds tomorrow...

Cheney Plays Poker...

I know, I know, but this is really funny. I just wish I had come up with it.


Transcript of The Editors' regular Saturday-night poker game with Dick Cheney, 6/19/04. Start tape at 12:32 AM.

The Editors: We'll take three cards.

Dick Cheney: Give me one. <...Continued...>

Bush Blog Blues

I try my best not to use this space for politics. What with there being so much out there already, I’d prefer to use this space for a laugh – even if it’s only to amuse myself.

This has been a real challenge the past couple weeks. All I really want to talk about is Fahrenheit 9/11, the upcoming election, and George W. Bush.

I am amazed at how divisive all this stuff is. In the past couple days, two friends of mine seemingly went off defending George W. in reaction to my comments. I sat stymied as they ranted.

Is this really happening? Am I having an out of body experience? What was that sci-fi term... “pod people?”

I really should bite my tongue. And this week, I’ve been holding back big time.

Like there was news that Dick Cheney said the F Word on the floor of the Senate. Did I pile on? No. But pesky Dick is relentless, and got boo’ed at the Yankee game today. My impulse was to run to the blog and link it. But I refrained..

And then someone told me to Google the words “worst President ever” and see what you get. “I won’t do it!” I said.

Why should I address the name calling and all the people who are outraged? Why should I gloat about polls?

Sorry.

I'm fastening my seatbelt... it's going to be a bumpy few months.